LaLa Anthony Tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios?

Yeah, you read that right.

Apparently that  is what Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony last night on the court at MSG, according to Black Sports Online.    The two players had a heated exchange during the fourth quarter that spilled not only out to the Celtics locker room but the bus as well.

I mean, where did the Honey Nut Cheerios come from?  When comparing the taste of a woman to food, I'm pretty sure KG could have come up something more sophisticated than Cheerios?   I think I would have been okay with strawberries and champagne.  I would have even been okay with honey or flan. 

I'll take flan.

Or KG could have just said she was finger-licking good.  Did he really have to sexualize a bowl of cereal like that?

Secondly, it's obvious that this was a blatant attempt on KG's part to get in Melo's head.  He is, after all, the Knicks top scorer.  But I guess like those, 'your mama' taunts on the playground Melo reacted emotionally rather than shutting up KG on the score board. 

Whether this is true or not, I don't know.  I figured there was more to it being trash talk when Melo just wouldn't let it go.  But if (and that's a big if) there is any truth to this and KG does know what Lala Anthony tastes like, I can't say I'm mad at her.  Sometimes a man needs have that shoe put on his foot to have him reevaluate some of his ways...

Just saying...

Either way, this news has provided me with the laugh I was so desperately needing.

Thanks Guys!

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year Everybody!  Many many blessings to you and yours this 2013!  My honey and I brought the new year in the right way, ya dig? ;) 

Anywho,

We are four days into the new year and I must say things are going quite well!  Hell, I made it! 2012 was a rough one for me.  Between the asshole lady who ran and red light and slammed into the side of my truck, rupturing my ACL, the surgery and recovery following it...2012 tested my grit.  I come from strong stock, coupled with God's grace, mama made it through, but I would like to go on the record as saying I wouldn't have been angry if it had been a smidge easier. 

Just a smidge easier would have been appreciated.  Am I the only one?  I can't be the only one. I refuse to believe I'm THE ONLY ONE. 

But now that 2013 has arrived, I'm determined to get things pushin' 'round here! 

First up, Booski of the Week:

 

 

Serge Ibaka:  Phrase of the day:  HE CAN GET IT!!!  At 6'10, the  OKC PF/Center makes for a wonderful tree to climb!  It doesn't take much for a girl to imagine herself wrapped around that thing like a jungle snake.  Lick, Slurp, Chomp and Burp! 

Keri Hilson is one blessed woman...

And besides being beautiful, Ibaka is pretty damned good at his job.  They don't call him IBLOCKA for nothing!  He has definitely put OKC in my top five this year.


Secondly,  I am going to be published this year!!!!!  YAY!

All signs point to a neon 'yes' for my first book to finally be on the market early this year.  It's been a long road.  I've learned a lot and look to continually grow as an author/writer.  When the details of everything fall into place I will post more including, title, snippets, cover art, etc...so please be on the look out.

And lastly,  I want to end on a funny note.  I came across this website (although what I was searching, I couldn't tell you) and found myself tickled.

It's from sexhax.com and outlines the different options men have when peeing with morning wood. There is also a link that called 'Urinary Hacks for Women' but I didn't find that one nearly as funny as the one for men.

Well, thats it for now.  Until next time!

 

 

How to Pee With Morning Wood

Every morning men wake up to this catch-22: you desperately have to pee, but you have an erection, which makes it hard to urinate, but the hard-on won't go away until you empty your bladder. It's almost impossible to aim at the toilet when your penis is pointing the wrong way, so you end up peeing on the wall, the floor, or yourself.

You may have developed your own technique for dealing with this catch-22, but if not, here are some methods to take care of the aiming part, customized for the angle of your dangle.

Flying Wallenda





If your erection angles up acutely, pointing at the ceiling, you’re out of luck. Your best bet is to install a trapeze over your toilet so you can hang upside down and let gravity do the rest. Warning: Attempting this maneuver using the shower curtain rod may result in head injury.

 

Strong Arming

 



 

This is the brute force method. If your penis points straight out or up, you may have to bend it to your will. Grasp the shaft or press down on the top gently but firmly so your boner bends downward, pointing toward the bowl. Keep the pressure on and don’t let it slip, or you may end up spraying the wall or squirting yourself in the face. Note: In some cases this won’t work because bending constricts the flow of urine too much. If your erection is too hard, don’t force it down – you could break something, seriously.

 

 

The Lunge

 

If your morning wood slopes at a downward angle, consider yourself blessed. All you need to do is lunge forward so your stream of urine angles into the toilet. This prevents you from overshooting the bowl. Toward the end, as your stream gets weaker, you can deepen the lunge to avoid dribbling on the floor.

 

 

Downward Dog

 

 

This position will work for just about anybody, but it is a little difficult to get into, and – if someone walks in on you – potentially kind of embarrassing. Stand facing away from the toilet, with a foot on either side of the bowl. Bend forward at the waist until you’re touching the floor (or the opposing wall, or the tub, depending on your bathroom layout). Adjust your stance so your junk is well inside the bowl - you don't want the pee to run down your front. If you get caught, claim that you like to wake up with a morning yoga workout.

Note: This position may encourage you to take better aim in general, since it will bring you face-to-face with the residue of near-misses and splatters that coat the floor and outer bowl surface.





 

 

The Plank

 

Another one for guys who point straight out or slightly down. Stand a foot or two away from the toilet and lean forward, supporting your weight by putting your hands on the wall above the toilet. Take aim and hold your body rigid. This position also strengthens your abs and core muscles.

 

 

The Girly Man

 

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and sit down to pee. Sit on the john with your legs apart and lean forward so your penis points down into the bowl. You may have to press down on your erection slightly to make sure you don't pee out and down the front of the bowl. And no, sitting down doesn’t make you any less manly, especially if there are extenuating circumstances. What? You say it’s so long you can’t keep it from dragging in the water? Oh, alright then.

 

 

Leg Up

 

It’s not uncommon to have an erection that curves to one side or the other. If yours does this, you’ll need to compensate accordingly. Use the bathroom walls to brace yourself as you balance on one foot and tilt your body until your curve is pointing down toward the toilet bowl. You might want to install a grab bar by the toilet if you do this regularly.

 

 

Superman

 

If you're a man of steel in the morning, you might as well be a superhero. Tie on the bedsheet for a cape, mount the bowl in a single bound, and make like you're flying. Hopefully the pressure relief will be like Kryptonite for your boner.

 





Funny right?  The full site can be found here: http://www.sexhax.com/peeing.html