Tuesday, January 08, 2013

LaLa Anthony Tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios?

Yeah, you read that right.

Apparently that  is what Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony last night on the court at MSG, according to Black Sports Online.    The two players had a heated exchange during the fourth quarter that spilled not only out to the Celtics locker room but the bus as well.

I mean, where did the Honey Nut Cheerios come from?  When comparing the taste of a woman to food, I'm pretty sure KG could have come up something more sophisticated than Cheerios?   I think I would have been okay with strawberries and champagne.  I would have even been okay with honey or flan. 

I'll take flan.

Or KG could have just said she was finger-licking good.  Did he really have to sexualize a bowl of cereal like that?

Secondly, it's obvious that this was a blatant attempt on KG's part to get in Melo's head.  He is, after all, the Knicks top scorer.  But I guess like those, 'your mama' taunts on the playground Melo reacted emotionally rather than shutting up KG on the score board. 

Whether this is true or not, I don't know.  I figured there was more to it being trash talk when Melo just wouldn't let it go.  But if (and that's a big if) there is any truth to this and KG does know what Lala Anthony tastes like, I can't say I'm mad at her.  Sometimes a man needs have that shoe put on his foot to have him reevaluate some of his ways...

Just saying...

Either way, this news has provided me with the laugh I was so desperately needing.

Thanks Guys!

Friday, January 04, 2013

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year Everybody!  Many many blessings to you and yours this 2013!  My honey and I brought the new year in the right way, ya dig? ;) 


We are four days into the new year and I must say things are going quite well!  Hell, I made it! 2012 was a rough one for me.  Between the asshole lady who ran and red light and slammed into the side of my truck, rupturing my ACL, the surgery and recovery following it...2012 tested my grit.  I come from strong stock, coupled with God's grace, mama made it through, but I would like to go on the record as saying I wouldn't have been angry if it had been a smidge easier. 

Just a smidge easier would have been appreciated.  Am I the only one?  I can't be the only one. I refuse to believe I'm THE ONLY ONE. 

But now that 2013 has arrived, I'm determined to get things pushin' 'round here! 

First up, Booski of the Week:

Serge Ibaka:  Phrase of the day:  HE CAN GET IT!!!  At 6'10, the  OKC PF/Center makes for a wonderful tree to climb!  It doesn't take much for a girl to imagine herself wrapped around that thing like a jungle snake.  Lick, Slurp, Chomp and Burp! 

Keri Hilson is one blessed woman...

And besides being beautiful, Ibaka is pretty damned good at his job.  They don't call him IBLOCKA for nothing!  He has definitely put OKC in my top five this year.

Secondly,  I am going to be published this year!!!!!  YAY!

All signs point to a neon 'yes' for my first book to finally be on the market early this year.  It's been a long road.  I've learned a lot and look to continually grow as an author/writer.  When the details of everything fall into place I will post more including, title, snippets, cover art, etc...so please be on the look out.

And lastly,  I want to end on a funny note.  I came across this website (although what I was searching, I couldn't tell you) and found myself tickled.

It's from sexhax.com and outlines the different options men have when peeing with morning wood. There is also a link that called 'Urinary Hacks for Women' but I didn't find that one nearly as funny as the one for men.

Well, thats it for now.  Until next time!
How to Pee With Morning Wood

Every morning men wake up to this catch-22: you desperately have to pee, but you have an erection, which makes it hard to urinate, but the hard-on won't go away until you empty your bladder. It's almost impossible to aim at the toilet when your penis is pointing the wrong way, so you end up peeing on the wall, the floor, or yourself.

You may have developed your own technique for dealing with this catch-22, but if not, here are some methods to take care of the aiming part, customized for the angle of your dangle.

Flying Wallenda

If your erection angles up acutely, pointing at the ceiling, you’re out of luck. Your best bet is to install a trapeze over your toilet so you can hang upside down and let gravity do the rest. Warning: Attempting this maneuver using the shower curtain rod may result in head injury.

Strong Arming

This is the brute force method. If your penis points straight out or up, you may have to bend it to your will. Grasp the shaft or press down on the top gently but firmly so your boner bends downward, pointing toward the bowl. Keep the pressure on and don’t let it slip, or you may end up spraying the wall or squirting yourself in the face. Note: In some cases this won’t work because bending constricts the flow of urine too much. If your erection is too hard, don’t force it down – you could break something, seriously.
The Lunge
If your morning wood slopes at a downward angle, consider yourself blessed. All you need to do is lunge forward so your stream of urine angles into the toilet. This prevents you from overshooting the bowl. Toward the end, as your stream gets weaker, you can deepen the lunge to avoid dribbling on the floor.
Downward Dog
This position will work for just about anybody, but it is a little difficult to get into, and – if someone walks in on you – potentially kind of embarrassing. Stand facing away from the toilet, with a foot on either side of the bowl. Bend forward at the waist until you’re touching the floor (or the opposing wall, or the tub, depending on your bathroom layout). Adjust your stance so your junk is well inside the bowl - you don't want the pee to run down your front. If you get caught, claim that you like to wake up with a morning yoga workout.
Note: This position may encourage you to take better aim in general, since it will bring you face-to-face with the residue of near-misses and splatters that coat the floor and outer bowl surface.

The Plank
Another one for guys who point straight out or slightly down. Stand a foot or two away from the toilet and lean forward, supporting your weight by putting your hands on the wall above the toilet. Take aim and hold your body rigid. This position also strengthens your abs and core muscles.
The Girly Man
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and sit down to pee. Sit on the john with your legs apart and lean forward so your penis points down into the bowl. You may have to press down on your erection slightly to make sure you don't pee out and down the front of the bowl. And no, sitting down doesn’t make you any less manly, especially if there are extenuating circumstances. What? You say it’s so long you can’t keep it from dragging in the water? Oh, alright then.
Leg Up
It’s not uncommon to have an erection that curves to one side or the other. If yours does this, you’ll need to compensate accordingly. Use the bathroom walls to brace yourself as you balance on one foot and tilt your body until your curve is pointing down toward the toilet bowl. You might want to install a grab bar by the toilet if you do this regularly.
If you're a man of steel in the morning, you might as well be a superhero. Tie on the bedsheet for a cape, mount the bowl in a single bound, and make like you're flying. Hopefully the pressure relief will be like Kryptonite for your boner.

Funny right?  The full site can be found here: http://www.sexhax.com/peeing.html

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Holiday Spirit?

I don't know if it's just my household but we really haven't been in the cheery holiday spirit this year.  Sure, the kids are but the honey and I had the conversation the other day about how for some reason we just weren't feeling it.  I'm guessing it must be in the water b/c when I went to my mother's house last night she hadn't nary a decoration up.  No tree, no lights, no nothing.  Considering how diligent my mother was about Christmas in years past I found that kind of odd.  When I asked her, she said, "Yeah, I'm just not doing that this year." 

Granted, the world was supposed to end yesterday and that could have put a damper on some folks considering that wouold have totally cancelled Christmas but that wasn't exactly why the honey and I weren't feeling it. 

So I'm wondering if it's just us or is the Holiday Season feeling less holiday-ie for others?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

NBC's Deception

So last night as I perused OnDemand, I came across the pilot episode for NBC's Deception.  The episode doesn't officially air until January 7, but OnDemand offered it so I took it.


The Plot:  A socialite, Vivian Bowers, from a powerful family dies from a drug overdose but there is suspected foul play.  To find out the truth, LAPD Detective Joanna Lacosto (Meagan Good), goes under cover (at the behest of the FBI) to find out whodunit and why.

It sounds cheesy but the show was decent.  Sure, I may need a glass or of wine (or three!) to fully convince me that Ms. Good is a hardened detective, but since wine is always on hand in mi casa, no worries there.  As the story unfolds we're told Joanna and Vivian were besties way back in the day.  Joanna was the maid's daughter and I'm guessing mother and child lived on the premesis.  They lose contact for 17 years.

The moment you meet the Bowers you realize they are all seriously f*cked up.  Seriously.  Their secrets are deep, dark and ugly.  But that's not exactly unexplored territory with the rich white folks so...yeah. 

The central conflict comes about when we find out that Vivian was meeting with a reporter to blow the whistle on a cancer curing drug her older brother, Julian, created that's about to be signed off as the cure-all to cancer.  Heady stuff, right?  But wait...it doesn't work.  Human testing in Thialand proved that the drug actually kills people.  Two days before Viv was supposed to hand over the info, she's killed by someone she knows, if the first scene is anything to go by.

That makes Julian a suspect.  An interesting dynamic considering Julian and Joanna have some history (I'd go with he'd popped her cherry but that wasn't flat out stated.)

Then the older brother is a suspect too because not only does he have a temper, he's also an acquitted rapist/killer.  Yeah, ponder that one. 

But dad's hands aren't clean either.  Besides the standard issue affair with his assistant, he would stand to lose a heck of a lot if the wonder drug doesn't work.  Is that enough to compell him to kill his child?  I can't call it. 

Step-mom likes to get her drink on but its obvious she wears the pants when it comes to getting things done.  I don't see her as being the killer but I can see her being that chick you call when you need a scene santized.  It's a position she resents especially when the mess she's cleaning up are by her husband's children.

Then there is Mia, mystery and intrigue surround this girl, left right and center and it's not until the last 10 - 15 minutes of the show that you find out why. 

Am I going to give it away?  Not so much.  You wouldn't have a reason to watch the show if I did.

I would like to see how far down the rabbit hole this one will go.  Since Last Resort has been cancelled (You get the finger on both hands for that one ABC!) I need a new show to add to my line-up. 

Besides, it has Laz Alonzo?  Laz 'futhamuckin' Alonzo!  Dear God have I been crushing on that man since his BET VJ days.  He was scrum-didli-umscious.  Just YES

That's all for now.  Until next time!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I'm back!

To say it's been a while since I posted anything would be the understatement of the year.  At this point I doubt anyone reads my blog anymore (especially since blogs come a dime a dozen these days) but, I'm back now and fresh to death!

In all seriousness I am ashamed that I have neglected this blog yet again but b/c of a schedule change, I am looking to rectify that problem, get some readers, some exposure and let things flow from there.

Have a happy Hump day Everyone!

Friday, September 09, 2011

Sebi's Movie Reviews

How many of you actually remember this TV show?  C'mon, I know there are a few out there?

I can still hear Jon Lovitz voice when he says his handle, "IT STINKS!"  Classic!

But Anywho, I've seen a few movies over the past few weeks (must be the hubby's influence :)) and I'd like to let lose on what I liked or didn't like about them...

First up, The Perfect Host...

This trailer had me hooked, line and sinker!  I mean who really says to an assailant, "You can't kill me, I'm having a dinner party!"  I couldn't wait to see this movie that was sure to have me entertained from beginning to end. So on that Sunday when my hubby needed his locks re-twisted, this was the movie of choice...

Until I actually watched it...

To be honest I'm really not sure what to think about this movie.  Its nothing like what the trailer portrayed.  NOTHING! 

John isn't the bad guy like the trailer portrays. For that I was glad.  It kept my Clayne Crawford crush still in tact.  The money he stole was to save his girlfriend who was sick and had no medical coverage for medication.  He stumbles on to Warwick's place b/c he is trying to hide out.  

Warwick is KING OF THE CRAZIES!  Seriously...

Ya man has a crown,  a scepter and a cushy thrown...subjects too!  Those of which who are the guests at his dinner party. David Hyde Pierce hit the nail on the hammer with this characterization.  

There are some plot twists in the end.  One in particular, I just didn't see coming at all, but I won't give those away.  I was surprised by this movie, whether it was a good surprise or bad, I'm not sure...

Next Up...

 Something Borrowed.

We all know the premise.  A spin on the dreaded love triangle scenario with the main characters of Rachel (the good girl), Darcy (the wild, self absorbed best friend) and Dex (the hot guy - Shout out the parents of Colin Egglesfield!  Boy did that get that one RIGHT!) guaranteed to be a good time to be had by all.

The movie started out okay, and then it got messy.  And yes that was to be expected with this situation...dating a friend's ex is always bad business.  ALWAYS!  Don't matter how you slice it, but this...

Yeah...I just couldn't get behind it. 

Was Darcy self centered to the point of me wanting to throttle her?  Yes.  Was is obvious that Dex and Rache belonged together? Yes.  But for reason I just couldn't get behind the 'tortured couple.'   The end didn't justify the means.  Darcy didn't deserve to be treated the way she was, even if is as obtuse as they come.  And if Dex and/or Rachel had an iota of will power or brain power or something the movie may have played out better.

The only saving grace was Ethan.  Dear God I LOVED this character.   Ethan was my man fifty grand from the hot dog stand!  I loved everything about him!

On a Scale from one to five, I'd  give this two and half wine bottles, mainly because you'd need to consume that much alcohol to get through it in one sitting.

*shrugs* At least the book is said to be better....

And finally....Everything Must Go!

This movie was a pleasant surprise.  This is the first time I've seen Will Ferrell do drama of any kind and it was good.  He should do more of it.  It was a nice change of pace to see him act like something other than a jackass.

Nick Hasley (Ferrell) is a alcoholic whose life literally turns to shit in one day.  He loses his job only to come home and find his personal belongings on the front lawn of his house.  His wife is leaving him, took his money and locked him out of this house.

And this is all in the first five minutes of the movie.  From there we see the phases Nick goes through to get his life together.  In the process he befriends two neighbors Kenny and Samantha.  From then on its all about Nick's interaction with these two for the most part.

The movie does not have a 'happy-go-lucky' vibe.  You literally see how alcoholism destroyed Nick's life.  But what the movie does do is show that true change and putting ones life back together happens in itty-bitty increments...and letting go of things past.

An awesome lesson for anyone, at any age to learn.  And for that I give this movie  three and a half stars.  I'll make it four since CJ Wallace, son of the Notorious BIG, played Kenny! He didn't do half bad either.

 So these are my movie reviews.

Until next time!


Friday, September 02, 2011

The Dragon Who Loved Me...


This is a book review, ya?  I have wanting to breathe life into this damn blog...I figured this was as good an idea as any to get the ball rolling.

The Dragon Who Loved Me by G.A. Aiken was a book I damn near stalked my local Barnes and Nobles for the week it was out.  And Ms. Aiken didn't disappoint.  As a *coughs* diehard *coughs* fangirl...wait, I'll say that again with a little more dignity...

As a DIEHARD FANGIRL, I have read and re-read all the dragonkin books by Ms. Aiken.  There were four, The Dragon Who Loved Me, being the fifth.  It was the tale of Rhona and Vigholf...two dragons who really didn't float my boat until this book.  These two were engaging, funny, endearing, and everything I needed them to be.  The same could be said for the greater storyline that has flowed through the last four books into this one. 

Ms. Aiken has created a universe that you can't help but be drawn into.  If you've read the first four books you'll be familiar with the large cast and not lost when newbies are thrown into the mix.

I'd give this book a definite two snaps in circle.  So pick up the series and give it try!